Pirating *hic*

To Me Dearest Ebbie,

So thar I was Ebbie, raidin the shores of the Port of Libra, arr! Sailin' this side o' the seven seas and swashbucklin' me way to get me damsels and me treasure! ARRRR! But hear this me Ebbie, this ambitious pirate o' yers be amassin a fortune worth all the treasure o' the world, ARRRR! Them landlubbers used to know me as a paladin who be goin' by the name of Prawnt, the Tempuree Knight, arr! However, when I found me true pirate callin' I stuck with me new swashbucklin' pirate name! I be called the Tempura Terror! ARRR!

I be tellin' ye a tale o' adventure, as I sat 'ere in the Port of Libra, and showed 'em landlubbers along with me crew that messin' with Captain Prawnt, the Tempura Terror be meanin' bloody business, arr! We be causin all sorts o' mischief around this 'ere town, the same sort o' ruckus that Cap'n White Tooth and Alvida did to the Port of Steven, arr! But they be bad pirates! They be causin' no mischief at all! Not like I, Captain Prawnt o' the Great Tempura Brigade, we be doin noble privateerin' and at the same time cause a bit o' pirate mischief 'ere and thar! ARRR!

I know ye be curious 'bout me, Ebbie, so I be sendin' ye this picture o' me in me captain outfit, arr! So we went around Libra, throwin' and destroyin' crates 'ere and thar, and we be crushin' the greedy merchant enterprise that deserve it , arr! CURSE DEM BLOODY MERCHANTS THEY BE FELLED BY THE BLADE OF THE TEMPURA TERROR, CAPTAIN PRAWNT, LEADER OF THE GREAT TEMPURA BRIGADE ON THIS SIDE O' THE SEVEN SEAS, ARRRRRR!!!

Now them landlubbers from the government show up after me and me crew did some ruckus here and thar, so I told em, "Ya know lads, piratin' be honest and noble work, we be a reminder that thar always be a third party aside from this Elga thingy ye be facin right now, arr! Ye should be thankin' us cuz we keep yer toes on the ground!" That's what yer dear brother told 'em before they almost sent me to Davy Jones' locker!

But hear this me dear Ebbie, Captain Prawnt of the Great Tempura Brigade ne'er gives up, no matter what! We be seekin' all sorts o' abominations an' monstrosities that be threatenin' justice, arr! So thar! If ye excuse me, one o' me crew has come to pay for me bail, I be a free man again. Another day of fightin' evil fer Captain Prawnt, the Tempura Terror, Leader of the Great Tempura Brigade!

Ye be stayin' safe now, ye hear?

From Yer Dear Brother,
Captain Prawnt

P.S. Oh hi Ebbie, this is Ceaz, Prawnt's friend. Umm, Prawnt drank a bit too much liquor and accidentally inhaled a WHOLE bag of opium so... yeah. His mind got all screwed up and pretty soon he found this pirate costume, wore it, and dragged us around town ordering us to raid and pillage the shops in the market street. He then got caught by the authorities for causing a ruckus and he wrote this letter while he was kept in the town jail. He finally fainted after 24 hours of being high, and the doctor said he'll need a day's rest, don't worry about him, he's fine. It was a good thing I snatched this letter from him while he was asleep, huh? Don't worry, no one was hurt! Cheers!