In The Mail

To My Dearest Ebbie,

I can't believe what happened to you. Are you sure your guildmates harrassed you the other night? Or did you just have a bad case of Long Island Iced Tea overdose again? Didn't I tell you to always remain sober before and after a dungeon raid? Some random guy might pick you up and... that's it Ebbie. If you keep saying you're in danger from those guys, transfer guilds. Heck, I could even write you a recommendation letter into the Doraemon guild!

However, if you wish to remain and put up with it, I will respect your decision as your brother. I know you're a strong woman Ebbie, so carry the Tartareus family name around with pride, as we are the first generation in a line of Tempura Warriors! That's right Ebbie, we should start our own organization of knights. We should call it the Order of Tempura or something similar to that!

We would be the warriors of justice, and the bane of all malice if we form something like that. My cool poses during battle should stifle the enemy into thinking if we're really worth fighting!That's how our fighting style should be: flashy, fast, and most of all, DASHING. Every heroic warrior is dashing in a way, am I right?

Anyway, I found something weird the other day when I got trapped in the mail. Yes Ebbie, in the mail. I was looking for a package that I was about to send to you with the wrong address and the next thing you know, I got trapped in this box. I was cramped inside this box with hundreds of packages and letters put together. I lost track of time while inside that box, so in order to nourish myself, I looked for packages inside the box that smelled like food and ate them.

My glowing sword proved useful as a light, so as I spent my days confined in that little box, I just read all sorts of letters and saw all sorts of packages with food inside. Most of the food I've eaten were breadrolls and slices of cake. Thankfully there were some apples and water inside as well. Don't ask me what I had to do when I had to urinate or defecate while inside that darn box.

Eventually I came across this weird form that many people use for something called a "Social Networking Bulletin". It's this common bulletin board in town where people post news, stuff about themselves and ridiculous survey questions that no one really seems to care about. I think it was called FaceBulletin or something. Funny thing about this was it had a weird set of questions, and the envelope was purple.

For fun, I answered the questions that were inside that envelope. As you read all the way to the end, you'll get an idea who made this tasteless survey. Oh, and I also found a similar letter that a Swamp Monster filled up. (I could tell from the smell.) I compared the answers with mine:

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This had the title: ARE YOU WORTHY TO BE CONSIDERED ELGA'S MINION?

1. Thank you for applying at Elga Minion Manpower Consultancy and Services. First of all, are you a Dragonican or a monster?

Mine: Dragonican.

Swamp Monster: GAFLARGBLARGHBLARGH *fart* (MONSTER!!!)

2. Let's begin with a few simple questions. Are you in good physical condition?

Mine: Yes. *flex*

Swamp Monster: *fart*

3. Being a minion of Elga is very tough work. Are you prepared to get beaten up by countless adventurers who do not care about your well-being?

Mine: I suck at PVP anyway so I guess it's okay.

Swamp Monster: *sad fart*

4. What would you consider your best asset during an invasion?

Mine: My looks will knock all the ladies down! ;D

Swamp Monster: BLARGHGARFLARG! (I throw poop.)

5. Would it be alright if we stuck the Evilizer up your arse and made you evil? (No, the fruit thing with Paris and the Orc Brothers was a lie.)

Mine: WTF? That's how they became evil??? The fruit thing was a lie!

Swamp Monster: *fart*

6. Do you have any experience in roaming around aimlessly and waiting for an adventurer to beat you up?

Mine: These questions are getting more ridiculous by the minute...

Swamp Monster: BLARGH! BLARGHGHGH! (YES! YES!)

7. And finally, a problem solving question. Lord Elga sent 3 minions to attack 2 adventurers and 1 fighter fell from each side. 2 more adventurers arrived at Lord Elga summons 2 more. WHAT IS PARIS' BOOB SIZE???

Mine: WTF. That question made no sense at all! And Paris' boob size is hard to describe.

Swamp Monster: *farrrrrrrrrt*

Thank you for answering our form. We hope to see you in our ranks once you pass our screening process. If successful, you get a 1 gold signing bonus on your contract and a free Evil Doughnut!

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As for me, I got out of that box eventually. I also had to take a bath for 12 hours because of the stench I've accumulated while inside.

Stay safe Ebbie.

From Your Dear Brother,

Prawnt

P.S. I got a letter the day after that. It told me I was qualified enough to be Elga's Minion! I just lol'd.

Retreat!

To My Dearest Ebbie,

Oh you would not believe how terrified I was for the first time! Normally I don't get scared of monsters, but I do get scared if I feel that they are emanating some sort of strong power. Must be my intuitive ability. That is what happened the other day when I found myself in the Kundara Dungeon near Fungoid Village. The Myst Elf, Hel Kaizen warned me of a mysterious being within the dungeon that has driven many ancient machines crazy.

Aside from his archaic manner of speaking, he kept asking me the same question: "Are you sure you want to go alone?". I really didn't take that question seriously until I reached the end of the dungeon. See Ebbie, Kundara Dungeon has all sorts of ancient rocky machines that were developed and used by the Myst Elves during the Dragon War. And now, most of those machines and golems came to life under some evil influence.

It was pretty freaky inside the dungeon. There were many traps like chainsaws and buzzsaws as well as golems suddenly coming to life to attack you. The best part is, they shoot LAZERS OMG. After a long trek of slaying all sorts of infernal machinery, I finally reached the end of the dungeon. I could tell that that red aura was not a good sign at all.

I really didn't want to go inside all alone, but I tried to man up by repeating my mantra.

"I am the defender of justice, the bane of all malice! I! AM! PRAWNT! TEMPURA KNIGHT!"

And after a flashy display of posing and explosions, I marched inside, proudly until I saw this:

I think I wet my tights after that. He didn't look so tough until that large golem, Aram (I think he was called) suddenly slammed his fist onto the ground and it knocked me off the ground literally. I cursed as that mysterious being called Mutisha casted some sort of dark magic. I had no choice but to retreat. This battle is not for one tempura knight alone. I shouted at the two:

"Foul demons! Hear this. I will be back! Not only with reinforcements, but with bigger, better, and stronger BICEPS!"

And with that, I fled from battle, as what noble warriors would do in a retreat.

Ebbie, I would advise you stay away from the Kundara Dungeon as much as possible. I don't want you to suffer the same fate as I did.

I'm not lying. Trust me, you don't wanna go.

...Alright?

Stay safe then!

From Your Dear Brother,

Prawnt

P.S.

Hiii Ebbie, this is Irichi~ I intercepted Prawnt's letter to tell you what REALLY happened~ Actually, I did follow Prawnt all the way to the end of Kundara until he went inside. He wasn't all noble and as heroic as he was in this letter. Did you know Mutisha is actually a flaming homosexual? Well, I think he took an interest in Prawnt so the moment Mutisha started to harass him in... those places... um, and Prawnt like the uke he was broke free from Mutisha and ran away and cried. He'll be traumatized forever! 8D

Toodles~

Big Sis Irichi <3

The Deal With The Sword...

To My Dearest Ebbie,

It has been quite some time after I have arrived here in Ashmist Village. Zakriid was right about one thing. This place is so darn chilly I could leave a bottle of water in open air and it would freeze! However, this isn't the typical sort of cold climate I'm usually accustomed to. There was something ominous and evil about the place that I didn't want to talk about any further. My Angelius Sword started to glow as it was detecting all the evil energy coming from the nearby Van Cliff Citadel. I then came across this shady magician guy.

The first thing he did was call my attention with this display of dark pyroworks he was doing. He then told me that my sword could be stronger if I used the power of darkness. Although using a holy sword would be great, a dark sword is also a powerful weapon. This must be the reason why my Angelius Sword has been glowing for quite some time now. He told me to defeat one of the sources of this dark power, the accursed golem called Pythanuth.

I found Pythanuth in the Frigid Canyon and apparently, he loves to dance. You heard me right, Pythanuth is a ferocious, violent dancing golem who loves to do pirouettes, twirls and ballet moves. I don't know how he could manage to do that with his sheer size, but that dancing is no joke. It's powerful. He was a bit tough, but I eventually defeated him as he crumbled back to his simplest form; minerals. I took a shard from Pythanuth as proof that I defeated him.

Backtracking to Ashmist Village, I gave the shard to the creepy magician and he did some sort of magic on my sword. Within a few moments... voila. I got a new powerful, and more diabolical looking sword.

Wanting to test this sword, I set out for the Sleepy Slums to find this trouble-making monkey called Vanir. All I could say is that Vanir really speaks for himself. Not bad for a monkey with a pineapple on his head.

Stay safe, monkeys will put any fruit on their heads nowadays!

From Your Dear Brother,

Prawnt

A New Year's Resolution

To My Dearest Fans/Readers/Friends,

I decided to participate in the DGN Comic Writing Contest that is currently on-going, and it took me quite a bit to think of something that had to fit with the theme of "Dragonica Online New Year's Resolution for 2010." It took me quite some time to figure out what I wanted to put in the comic, but after a few candies with a bit of fapping on the side, EUREKA!

(Click me to enlarge; no, not the picture! THIS LINK!)

Work has been a bit hectic since I've been assigned to graveyard shifts. However, I was able to make this in my little spare time! Hope it makes it to one of the ten winning entries!

A Happy New Year to all of you!

Prawnt ;D

P.S. My personal New Year's Resolution? Umm... I'll tell you some other time lol.