Lost With A Cupcake

To My Dear Friend Ceaz,

The other day I was told by the lads that there would be a "black market" somewhere in a faraway place and I decided to have a look at it myself. All they told me was to look for a hooded man and he would show me his goods which I can purchase for a good price. The deal seems shady right? So to make sure it was a safe and real deal, I went alone to find this so-called black market. Good "porn" would be hard to come by.

I eventually came across a forest that people say I must cross a dense forest just to find the place. After treading for a few minutes, I came across some weird guy in green robes. Perhaps he knew where the place was. However, as I was about to ask him for directions. He only gave me a glare and raised his staff. He attacked me! This guy was probably one of those Dryads, classified as a hostile threat and forest servants of Elga. I had no choice but to engage the lousy Dryad to move on.

It utters a weird language somewhere along the lines of "GARFLARGBLARGH
ERBLARGBHERBLAGH". Yeah, reeeeeeaaaaaly weird language I must say. I defeated it of course and moved deeper into the forest. After some time, I've noticed that I was getting nowhere. I really didn't know what to do so I decided to experiment. I left a cupcake at a nearby tree to use it as a marker. I walked again and after a few minutes, and the cupcake was gone! There were a few monsters around the spot where I left it and they must've eaten that cupcake. IT WAS MY ONLY SOURCE OF NOURISHMENT THAT TIME.

This forest made me lose my way.

I had to get out quickly. It was almost getting dark, and I need my goods. My "goods". Then I came across something. Or it probably was a someone. It was one of those Mimir Tribesmen I've heard so much about. They used to be a friendly bunch but recently, the whole tribe has gone berserk because of their Owl God, Bubo who has been acting strangely as of late.

I tried to ask this Mimir Tribesman for directions but all he did was squeal and attack me. After defeating him, it alerted the attention of other tribesmen, so I had to escape the forest as quickly as possible. I didn't know getting the "goods" was this hard. I had to escape because I promised Ebbie I would be safe from harm. When I found the exit, I couldn't believe my eyes! THE CUPCAKE WAS WAITING FOR ME AT THE EXIT, DUDE.

I didn't bring any potions, scrolls, and food during this time because I forgot my stuff in Libra. The cupcake was only something I bought along the way to the forest. Some mage sold it to me so perhaps this cupcake was enchanted or something? I wasn't hungry yet as I was saving it after I buy "the goods". Without hesitation, I picked up the cupcake and stepped into the light.

In an instant, I was brought to this familiar place. It was the guild castles lobby!!! I really didn't know how this was the place yet, things were not as they seemed to be. This looked like a replica of it, and the guy with brown robes spoke with a funny voice. I found all kinds of titles there man! They probably had twice the titles and stocks compared to those found in the backalleys of Libra! With a raspy voice, the guy in the brown robes welcome me and I started taking my picks.

They had titles like "My Spear into Your Holey Robe" or "Loli Acolyte: Mk II". Irichi would love this place as well as it had titles to her liking that I accidentally picked out. Of course dude, I returned those cursed things the moment I touched them. I had a large shopping bag with titles to watch and enjoy. Now what mystified me was the cupcake I still had from back then. The brown robed guy just smiled and told me to eat it.

The moment I took a bite into the magical cupcake, I had this feeling of euphoria. My body felt all warm and, I think I was hallucinating and stuff as I saw these talking Woodies telling me to fap and stuff. The last thing I knew, I was naked in bed with this woman and I'm not sure of what I saw but I'm pretty sure it was... nah... you wouldn't want to know. It was HORRIBLE. And you'd probably think I was gay if I told you what I saw that time.

But no worries man, I got you your favorite title, and I've attached it to this mail. Oh yeah, don't tell Ebbie about this. She'd probably kill me if she knew that I got high again.

I'll see you around man.

From Your Dear Friend,
Prawnt