In Trouble...

To My Dearest Ebbie,

Well I got a bit carried away the other night so here I am writing to you in prison under a 1-week suspension from regular duties. What happened the other night you ask? Well, me and Dobby were downing some shots of vodka and tequila at the Wild Cocks Bar in Libra. Actually it was Dobby who took more shots than I did, because according to the report from eyewitnesses, I already got drunk after one shot and began to act differently.

(The evidence.)

Another eyewitness said that I kept proclaiming myself as "Don Pantino, master of panty-snatch" while inside the bar, and then Dobby joined in as we raided all sorts of places hunting panties here and there, oblivious to who they belong to. What do you expect Ebbie? We were both drunk. Dobby then went up to the roof of a house and started imitating a seagull. Eventually we got caught by the authorities and they confiscated all the panties as evidence. Poor Dobby was stripped of his equipment to be sent to the dungeons, while I was sent to another room to be court marshaled.

The big hairy guy who escorted me was really weird. He kept touching my butt A LOT and gave me his house address as well. I don't know what he was trying to get from me but I hated him because he smelled weird. You know that smell when you have your weapon refined at the smithy's? Yeah, it's something like that only ten times worse plus a little bit of manure smell added to top it all off.

I tried my best to plead with Commander Hoffman not to suspend my "hero" activities but rules are rules. I have a one-week suspension from heroics and other missions and as an added punishment, the big hairy guy requested that I spend time with him. This is really creepy. At least they let me keep my sword for that reason but for the next week, I'll be spending it in a small jail cell.

Stay safe Ebbie, and don't get drunk!

From Your Dear Brother,
Prawnt