To My Dearest Ebbie,
As you may know, a knight's job is to protect people, not only those who are close to him, but also those who are in dire need of his protection. Strangers, Ebbie. If they ask for help or are about to meet their demise, it is our job to intervene and preserve life. Now let me tell you a little story of how I got acquainted with a good friend of mine. We met in Valid Raeth a few weeks back.
I was doing my rounds around Valid Raeth to help preserve the peace and make safe passage for travelers between Libra and Magmus. Knights are usually sent in groups of two, composed of a knight and a ranger, some Ballistae would be stationed in some areas to provide long-range support, while us Paladins go solo, looking for monster ambush parties that may prey upon adventurers.
While patrolling around the ridge area, I saw this battlemage spamming some magic on skeletons that have found her. I really couldn't make it out because I'm nearsighted. Now it was all coming together. Woman in trouble = damsel in distress. This looks like a job for Prawnt, the Tempura Knight! I quickly drew my sword, and charged right for the bloody skeletons. You should've heard my battlecry Ebbie, it REALLY diverts people's attention.
Anyway, as I eliminated the enemies in front of her, the mage just stood there, stunned. Obviously, she must have been amazed by my strength as an honorary paladin, right? And then it struck me. Long, flowing black hair, that icy cold face, and skin as smooth as snow. Shaking my head, I composed myself and asked her, "Are you alright, madame?"
Again, no response. She had a rather cold exterior, and she didn't seem pleased at all. She then clenched her fist, and aimed straight at my nose. As the punch hit my nose, it made a squeaky sound. Weak. My nose started to feel runny and then I sneezed loudly. After that, I gave a laugh, and asked what that was for. The mage blinked, and pointed at the many skeletons that have gathered behind me.
At the very front of the mob was Marduk, undead commander of the skeletons. There have been reports about his movements, but we really never expected him to show up around this part of Valid Raeth. He then taunted us and ordered his skeletons to attack us. The mob was too overwhelming and the situation looks dire. We have no choice but to pull back and escape. I suggested to her that we escape but she cast her magic and froze some skeletons. This wasn't enough however, as more kept coming.
I grabbed her by the hand, gesturing that we must escape. She was stubborn and refused to pull back. I had no choice. I swept her up her feet, carried her with both arms and used a nearby hyperjump to get to safety, dodging a skeleton's attack here and there. She tried to get out of my arms but she was physically too weak to break free from my grasp. We then arrived at the gates of Libra after that.
The funny thing about this woman was that she hasn't said a single word since we've met. There must be something wrong with her voice. I already thought at this point that it was no doubt she's a woman, with that long flowing silky hair and that effeminate face, no matter how cold it may look, it was womanly for me. I actually thought I had a chance to score here!
I then asked her, "So how does it feel to have been saved by a dashing knight like me?". Still, no response. She just looked at me and blinked. I then thought of something crazy, but it may just work. I will kiss her. Maybe that would make her talk. I said, "As I have rescued you from danger, allow me to kiss your hand." I bowed gracefully and took her hand. She seemed surprised at this point. She blushed!
I then kissed her hand. Once. Her hand was very smooth. Proof that she is a woman, I thought. However, my stupidity did not stop there. I took her around town for a tempura lunch and treated her. Is this the captivating effect of women? No wonder many of us guys become broke by the end of a date!
As night was approaching, she was coughing hard, and I don't know if she really like the tempura I had ordered for her since she couldn't speak. I didn't even get to know her name at this point.
Then it struck me. When she hit me earlier it didn't hurt. Usually girls are able to do more than that to me, like Irichi for example. Second, when I carried her, she had a slightly different physique. I felt something strange between her legs. Could it be-- naaaah. I must be imagining things again. At least that's what I thought.
Suddenly Marj comes by and says "Hi Zak." Zak? ZAK? Isn't Zak a guy's name? Zak then stopped coughing and was finally able to speak. Man was he nasty. And for me to mistaken him for a woman, hooo boy... Just when I thought all of this was over Irichi snuck out of the shadows, laughing her arse off. In her hand, more scandalous pics of me... and Zak.
Yeah, and that's how I got acquainted with Zak. From now on, I will make sure I am aware of a person's gender before treating them as such.
So stay safe Ebbie, and keep in touch!
From Your Dear Brother,
Prawnt
P.S. Before Zak left he froze me in place with his magic with a stupid pose. I looked real stupid that time! I'll launch him in a mana cannon the next time we meet.
